Reactive dog blues

Your journey will never be the same as the other dog owners you see. That reality is ahead of you, and you and your dog are not at that stage yet, and that’s OK. Training a reactive dog (or any dog!) does not happen in a straight line. There are ups and downs. Setbacks and wins. You need to keep going to move forward on your journey; that’s what is most important.

The fun stops when you compare your journey with other dog owners. You become more interested in other people and lose traction in your training. Stay in your lane and ignore what’s happening around you – you are smashing it! Remember, every dog owner has experienced the same ups and downs.

Has your dog had lots of visitors today? Are they being particularly sensitive? Did they bark at the mailman earlier in the day? Maybe a training walk isn’t the best idea right now! Have some quality time with your dog in the garden, or jump in the car and drive them to a quiet place.

Taking a day off walks (or more if needed) is okay because your dog is too reactive. There will not be much positive rehearsal and learning occurring if you and your dog are not having fun. Permit yourself to take a few days off to reset whenever needed. Remember, it’s not a failure to take a break; it’s a necessary part of the process.

Use your downtime to practice calmness and ensure your dog gets the sleep it needs to empty its stress bucket. 

Have you ever noticed that when you tell someone you have a reactive dog, they immediately give you a handful of tips? They will tell you that they once had a friend who had a dog like that… or they used ‘this technique’ with their dog, and it worked a treat! Or maybe they’ve never owned a dog, but they are full of ‘great advice!’

But you never asked for that advice, and you have tried most of what they say, and it has not worked. Remember, most people try to be helpful because they care about you and your dog’s welfare. It’s human nature for people to want to help others out.

So be kind and tell them you’re already working with a trainer and things are progressing in the right direction. You don’t have to go into detail if you don’t want to.

Remember that you're navigating uncharted waters with your reactive dog in your training journey. Just like your dog is learning, so are you.

Be kind to yourself. It's OK and normal to have tough days, doubts, and moments of frustration. Give yourself the same patience and understanding you offer your dog. Take time to do what you love, and remember you have a life too!

Use management and rehearse the room to ensure you and your dog are set up for success. Employ more restrictive management techniques you know will help your dog remain calm and lower stress levels.

Acknowledge the hard work you’re putting in. Training a reactive dog is a labour of love that requires dedication, time, and persistence. Celebrate that you’re taking proactive steps to improve your dog’s behaviour and well-being. Every effort you make is a step towards a brighter future together. Set goals, and celebrate wins with something special for you and your dog when you reach them – maybe a new treat (for you, too!).

Keeping a diary is a great way to measure growth and record the changes your dog is making. Without a before and after, you might not notice the subtle changes in your dog’s behaviour. If you have a calendar, you can write a few notes or use your phone to record progress using photos and videos.

Remember these tips, and know you’re not alone on this journey. There is strength in asking for help to ensure you and your dog make the best training decisions.

You are a dedicated dog owner who truly understands the challenges and triumphs of training a reactive dog. Your commitment is making a positive difference in your dog’s life, and that’s something to be proud of.

Owning a dog comes with many beautiful moments, but it’s not without challenges. Snuggling on the couch with your furry friend or exploring the outdoors together is delightful, yet many difficulties are rarely discussed.

It’s common for dogs to pull on the leash, ignore commands, or be possessive of their toys. They might bark at the doorbell or snatch food from the counter. These experiences are not unique to you but are shared by many on the journey of dog ownership.

If you’re facing difficulties, remember that you’re not alone. While being a dog guardian is incredibly rewarding, it can also be emotionally draining. Reflecting on these five critical aspects of having a dog is helpful when things get challenging.

If you keep telling yourself, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not doing enough”, you might overlook all the great things you’re doing for your dog. Your thoughts influence your reality. Shifting your mindset to highlight your positive impact on your dog’s well-being can enhance your confidence in your caregiving.

The opinions of friends, family, or even strangers online might influence your decisions with your dog, but trust your instincts. There’s no need to impress anyone or prove anything. It’s perfectly fine if your life with your dog looks and feels different from others.

It’s okay to think, “This isn’t the dog I expected,” or “I wish things were different.” These thoughts don’t define you or your relationship with your dog. They are normal and part of the journey. You can love your dog while still feeling disappointed, sad, or frustrated about its behaviour. Allow yourself to experience and express these emotions rather than keep them bottled up.

Worrying about every aspect of your dog’s health and your responsibilities as their guardian is normal. While anxiety can help protect and guide you away from errors, excessive stress over decisions can impair your judgment. Keep in mind that you’re doing your best.

One of the primary reasons we share our lives with dogs is their incredible happiness. Although owning a dog comes with challenges, it is undoubtedly one of the most fulfilling experiences in life. Dogs offer us so much; remember to pause, breathe, and let that joy fill your heart.

Whether you’re dealing with the challenges of a new puppy as it navigates their first year or you’ve been a dog owner for years and find some days particularly stressful, it’s essential to recognise that these feelings are entirely normal.

Be gentle and kind to yourself, allow yourself to experience your emotions, and savour those joyful moments with your dog when they come.